You might be an alcoholic if...
you consistently hide your drinking from someone you love, respect and trust.
you consistently hide your drinking from someone you love, respect and trust.
You might be an alcoholic if...
you have a picture in your memory album of the server you used most on your very first cruise AND you still remember his name (Eduardo). Don't panic... this alone does not mean you are an alcoholic.
You might be an alcoholic if...
the very first wedding planning decision you made was to switch to white wine (even though you hated the taste of it) just so you wouldn't have to worry about spilling red wine on your white dress.
You might be an alcoholic if...
the only time you drink is when you are happy... or mad... or sad... or excited... or celebrating... or blah... or lonely... or trying to embrace or avoid feelings.
You might be an alcoholic if...
the words "adult beverage" appeared on the invitation to your son's first birthday party.
(p.s. I don't live there anymore so don't even try to find me at that address)
You might be an alcoholic if...
you have ever gotten into a car (alone) with two complete strangers then ended up in some place crazy...like in a 40-year-old drug dealer's basement.
You might be an alcoholic if...
you drink even when you don't want to.
You might be an alcoholic if...
the first panic attack you ever experienced was in a grocery store isle as the clerk explained that you had just moved to a DRY town (that was in 2003 - Bedford ain't DRY no more).
You might be an alcoholic if...
you drink alone. Drinking alone is NOT normal.
You might be an alcoholic if...
you NEED to have multiple boxes of bad tasting wine in your fridge to sleep well at night (and you are the only one drinking it).
You might be an alcoholic if...
you have ever driven to a gas station to buy booze just so you could pass off the expense to your spouse as a gas purchase.
You might be an alcoholic if...
you completely ignore the warning labels on your prescriptions that say "do not consume alcohol while taking this medication". Seriously people, do you realize that consumption of alcohol nixes the effects of most every prescription drug??? I took depression meds for YEARS while drinking heavily. I could have just flushed cash down the toilet and gotten the same result.
You might be an alcoholic if...
you have ever sneaked your empty bottles into the neighbor's recycle bin on the curb so your trash man wouldn't think you're a drunk.
You might be an alcoholic if...
you promise yourself you are never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever going to drink again AND you mean it BUT you are unable to keep the promise no matter how hard you try.
You might be an alcoholic if...
filling your glass back up with wine before it is empty still only counts as one glass in your head.
You might be an alcoholic if...
you really truly believe the lie that you are a better driver when you are loaded.
You might be an alcoholic if...
you purchase your booze at several different locations just so the clerks won't realize how much you are buying.
You might be an alcoholic if...
the people you consider your "closest" friends are all regulars at the same bar and you don't know any of their last names.
You might be an alcoholic if...
the only Sunday you look forward to attending church is on communion Sunday (those Lutherans are big on Port you know).
You might be an alcoholic if...
you instinctively lie to your Dr. when he or she asks you how much you drink.
You might be an alcoholic if...
you randomly tell people you are a recovering alcoholic BUT you don't really think you are an alcoholic at all SO you still drinking regularly.
The good news here is that you are closer than you have ever been to actually becoming a recovering alcoholic... good luck!
And last but definitely not least...
You might be an alcoholic if...
you've ever wondered if you are an alcoholic. People without an alcohol issue never ask themselves that... because it is not an issue.
(You don't wonder if you are pregnant if you've never had sex. You don't wonder if you have irritable bowel syndrome if you never have problems with digestion. You don't wonder if you are a diabetic if you don't have blood-sugar issues. You don't wonder if you are a homosexual if you've never been attracted to the same sex. I rest my case.)
you have a picture in your memory album of the server you used most on your very first cruise AND you still remember his name (Eduardo). Don't panic... this alone does not mean you are an alcoholic.
You might be an alcoholic if...
the very first wedding planning decision you made was to switch to white wine (even though you hated the taste of it) just so you wouldn't have to worry about spilling red wine on your white dress.
You might be an alcoholic if...
the only time you drink is when you are happy... or mad... or sad... or excited... or celebrating... or blah... or lonely... or trying to embrace or avoid feelings.
You might be an alcoholic if...
the words "adult beverage" appeared on the invitation to your son's first birthday party.
(p.s. I don't live there anymore so don't even try to find me at that address)
You might be an alcoholic if...
you have ever gotten into a car (alone) with two complete strangers then ended up in some place crazy...like in a 40-year-old drug dealer's basement.
You might be an alcoholic if...
you drink even when you don't want to.
You might be an alcoholic if...
the first panic attack you ever experienced was in a grocery store isle as the clerk explained that you had just moved to a DRY town (that was in 2003 - Bedford ain't DRY no more).
You might be an alcoholic if...
you drink alone. Drinking alone is NOT normal.
You might be an alcoholic if...
you NEED to have multiple boxes of bad tasting wine in your fridge to sleep well at night (and you are the only one drinking it).
You might be an alcoholic if...
you have ever driven to a gas station to buy booze just so you could pass off the expense to your spouse as a gas purchase.
You might be an alcoholic if...
you completely ignore the warning labels on your prescriptions that say "do not consume alcohol while taking this medication". Seriously people, do you realize that consumption of alcohol nixes the effects of most every prescription drug??? I took depression meds for YEARS while drinking heavily. I could have just flushed cash down the toilet and gotten the same result.
You might be an alcoholic if...
you have ever sneaked your empty bottles into the neighbor's recycle bin on the curb so your trash man wouldn't think you're a drunk.
You might be an alcoholic if...
you promise yourself you are never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever going to drink again AND you mean it BUT you are unable to keep the promise no matter how hard you try.
You might be an alcoholic if...
filling your glass back up with wine before it is empty still only counts as one glass in your head.
You might be an alcoholic if...
you really truly believe the lie that you are a better driver when you are loaded.
You might be an alcoholic if...
you purchase your booze at several different locations just so the clerks won't realize how much you are buying.
You might be an alcoholic if...
the people you consider your "closest" friends are all regulars at the same bar and you don't know any of their last names.
You might be an alcoholic if...
the only Sunday you look forward to attending church is on communion Sunday (those Lutherans are big on Port you know).
You might be an alcoholic if...
you instinctively lie to your Dr. when he or she asks you how much you drink.
You might be an alcoholic if...
you randomly tell people you are a recovering alcoholic BUT you don't really think you are an alcoholic at all SO you still drinking regularly.
The good news here is that you are closer than you have ever been to actually becoming a recovering alcoholic... good luck!
And last but definitely not least...
You might be an alcoholic if...
you've ever wondered if you are an alcoholic. People without an alcohol issue never ask themselves that... because it is not an issue.
(You don't wonder if you are pregnant if you've never had sex. You don't wonder if you have irritable bowel syndrome if you never have problems with digestion. You don't wonder if you are a diabetic if you don't have blood-sugar issues. You don't wonder if you are a homosexual if you've never been attracted to the same sex. I rest my case.)
All of these "you might be if" statements were true in my life and as I said... this is NOT supposed to be funny. Only you can decide if you are or aren't an alcoholic. If you think you might be... get help. I quit many times on my own... only to start again. The time I was really able to quit... I didn't do it, God did it for me with the help of others who knew what to tell me to do.
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