Choose To Be Awesome

“I didn’t mean for this to happen! It just happened. I am so sorry,” or “I don’t know how this happened… it was totally out of my control.” Ever heard one of those before? Or perhaps you have been the one to say it. In my freshman year of high school, I had this "best" friend who said that to me almost once a week. I remember really liking a boy that my friend also liked. I began dating him but it wasn’t long before she said it to me… “I didn’t mean for this to happen… but it just happened. It was out of my control.” I was crushed. But if I am going to be honest, I’ve been the one to utter a similar phrase as well, many times. Here’s the crazy thing – when I was the one saying it, it seemed so true. But when I was the one hearing it, it sounded like the biggest bunch of bull-caca ever articulated.

It has taken me years to fully understand that for the most part the phrase, “I didn’t mean for it to happen, it just happened” is in fact a bunch of crap. Nearly everything we do in life happens as a result of multiple tiny decisions. Some times the decisions are so small that we don’t even see them as decisions at all. Take for example an affair, you don’t just wake up one morning and BAM! find yourself in an affair you weren’t in the day before. It’s a series of small decisions that lead you there. First it’s to talk to someone. Then it’s the decision to continue talking to them knowing you are attracted to them. Then it’s to think about the person in a way you know you shouldn’t think about them. Then it’s to continue both, talking and thinking, even though you know better. Next it’s to rationalize “we’re just going to coffee as friends, what could happen?” Then the decision to keep a secret… then another. Phone calls, texts, perhaps a secret meeting in a closet or hotel room… before you know it, “I didn’t mean for this to happen, it just happened! I am so sorry!” comes rushing out of your mouth. LIAR!!!! The truth is you had choices and you chose badly. I’m not saying it’s easy to reject these things, I’m just saying that we need to call a spade a spade and say… bad choices…. period. Of course this isn’t true for everything, some things in life do just happen… but an awful lot of them don’t. It takes intentional thought way in advance to prevent these things from cropping up in our lives. We really have to be on our toes since the devil loves to keep us blinded to all our minuscule decisions. But an affair always begins with an innocent, “Hello.” A decision doesn’t get smaller than that.

I was discussing this very thing with a friend and she said something I really loved… she told me that just like small decisions lead us to make big mistakes… small decisions are also what lead us to wonderful victories. I had never ever thought of it that way before. I remember back when I was beginning to repair my life after coming to terms with my alcoholism. I wanted to change… overnight! I wanted people to see me differently just because I had made the big decision to be sober. Well, it didn’t work that way and there were times I got really bummed out. I couldn’t understand why some people just saw me as a screw up no matter what I did. I really thought I could do one really awesome thing and all of a sudden become an awesome person. I’m sure that works for some people in ways, they can be seen as an awesome person for a few hours by doing something big, but the question is, is it real??? I think the best way to awesomeness is to make a bunch of really awesome small decisions over time. The choice to smile… the choice to be kind… the choice to help the old lady at the grocery store… the choice to listen to a friend even though you don’t have time… the choice to pick up a piece of trash… the choice to give your extra dollar away instead of buying a pack of gum… the choice to give your sandwich to a homeless man at the park and stay hungry for a few more hours… the choice to not yell at the annoying dog… the choice of patience when you have none left… the choice to commit 5 minutes to God instead of doing the dishes. Eventually these small choices will become who you are and lets be honest… what could be more awesome than being that person? Now that is the person I really want to be and I am happy to say, with the knowledge that it’s the small decisions that really matter… I realize I have begun to truly transform. I don’t need to give a million dollars to a university… I just want to be nice.

So, I'm not gonna lie to my friends, family and acquaintances anymore. I'm not gonna lie to myself by saying “I didn’t mean for this to happen… it just happened” or “I don’t know how this happened… it was totally out of my control.” I'm facing the truth, I'm going to be aware of my small decisions… and I'm going to choose to be awesome.

Dear Hasbro...

Dear Hasbro*,
My 4 year old loves transformers. I thought maybe he was too young to really appreciate them or be able to “transform them” but I was wrong. I bought him one of the level two transformer dudes and he did in 3 minutes what I couldn’t do in 20 after some cursing. There are several things I wanted to bring to your attention as a consumer who will inevitably be buying more of your products for years to come. And just in case you are wondering, I am also a consumer who realizes you probably don’t give a flying flip about what I’m about to say, thus there really is no point in writing this letter… except to post it on my blog for other consumers of your products to read and enthusiastically nod at before heading off to the store to buy more Hasbro products.

First, I found it quite strange that you have put transformers on the market that don’t actually transform. Had I not been really careful to read the very small print at a most inconvenient place on the packaging that said, “this product does not transform” I may have accidentally purchased a product that would have left my son HIGHLY disappointed. Is it strange for me to think it’s strange that you would sell transformers that DO NOT transform??? Strangely, I do not think it is strange for me to expect a product called a transformer to… transform.

But more to my point here… my son does love transformers… and even at 4 years old he can figure it out easily. He can play with them for hours without coming to me for help… or at least I’m fairly certain he would play with them for hours without needing my help IF ALL THE DANG PARTS (I.E. LEGS, ARMS, HEADS AND OTHER APPENDAGES) DIDN’T JUST FALL OFF AT THE SLIGHTEST TUG. Just in case you are wondering, I am SHOUTING AT YOU!!!!!

I would find it rather difficult to believe that no one there at Hasbro* has children. May I ask you to do something for me? Would you go find one of those employees that actually has a child and ask them a question? Ask them, “Do you enjoy the sound of your child whining about how their beloved toy’s arm or leg constantly breaks off?”

My husband played with transformers a child… and lucky for us he saved several of them. Last weekend we gave a box of his old 1980 transformers to our son and let him play with them. Would you believe that after constant toying, manipulating and rough housing… not one piece fell off??? NOT ONE!!!! Yet, just blink at the new version wrong and whoops… there goes an arm. It just goes to show, things are not made with the same care and durability as they used to be. What really ticks me off is that even considering inflation… things are so much more expensive these days. That’s right people… more expensive and more crappy!!!! Aren’t we lucky? How did we turn into a world that thinks this is okay?

I am a Pez collector… I have over 800 of them and you know what – there is even a difference in the making of a Pez dispenser. My old 70’s and 80’s dispensers NEVER lose their heads or get jammed. But these new ones, you take them out of the package and it’s a crap shoot… will it work? How long will it keep its head?? You just don’t know. So what if I only spent a dollar fifty on it… does that give it an excuse to SUCK??? Does buying the less expensive toaster give it the right to short circuit and burn my house down? No people… it doesn’t!!! I shouldn’t have to buy a $150 coffee maker to get one that doesn’t squirt hot water all over my counter!!!!! (By the way, Hasbro*, I realize you are not responsible for Pez… or toasters... or coffee makers.)

Here’s my point, if a company is going to take the time and energy to engineer, manufacture, market, package and sell a product, we as consumers should be able to rely on it period regardless of whether it is a cheaper or more expensive variety. Alas… that is not the world we live in. If it’s a $15 toaster, then we must expect to have burnt toast.

Time changes everything… right? I can’t expect things to stay the same… right? Well, there is one thing I can count on no matter what… God. He is the same today as He was yesterday. He will be the same tomorrow as He was today. He will never get chintzy or try to make an extra buck by selling me worthless or faulty goods. He won’t ever try to sell me a look alike triune God that doesn’t actually have an interchangeable Father, Son and Holy Spirit. His arm won’t fall off if I tug on Him a little too hard. His dispenser won’t ever get jammed and deprive me of what I need most in life… grace. He may allow me some pain or some whine time… but I recognize the bumps in my road are necessary (usually my own fault), and not a result of a lack of attentiveness or caring on His part. With all that said, why should I feel the need to complain about Hasbro*? Perhaps just for fun… to remember that I am just a human who is allowed to get frustrated and that frustration is sometimes the only thing that binds us humans together! Luckily for me, there is no commandment in the Bible that says, “Thou shalt not be sarcastic” or I would be in loads and loads of trouble. I do think I need to just accept today’s commerce as the way it is and move on. I don’t have to like it…. but I must accept it. It’s like the old saying, “would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy?”

Hasbro*, thank you for allowing me to complain. I am thankful to live in a country that allows me that right. And please, do not send me any gift certificates to “make this right” as I don’t need any more toys that fall apart in my house.

Sincerely,
Wendy S. Oleston
just a girl recovering from alcoholism with the help of God one day at a time


P.S. How dare you Disney create a Cars die-cast car by the name of “Tow” that is an actual tow truck BUT doesn’t have the type of hook that will tow any thing. And lets just say some tenacious child who is smart enough to know that a tow truck named Tow SHOULD be able to tow other cars decides to try and force the issue… how dare you make it so cheap that the tow breaks right off. I'm just sayin'...

*and any other product production company in the world