Footy Pajamas

Another rainy day. I have to admit, I do love the rain. For some reason I find it comforting. Nothing is better than curling up on the couch with a fuzzy, warm blanket on a quiet, rainy day with only a book to read or a few movies to watch. That just sounds like heaven. Of course, once you have children that heaven changes slightly. Suddenly, the fuzzy, warm blanket is sticky with last nights orange juice, the couch has been overrun with cracker crumbs, the quietness that afforded you a listen to the rain drops on the roof has been replaced with , “Mommy, will you play with me… Mommy, can I have a snack… Mommy, I need to poop,” and your new forced favorite movie has an annoying theme song you can’t get out of your head. Don’t get me wrong, there is a lot of joy in that too, but sometimes it sure would be nice to go back to simpler days.

I’m emotional today although I’m not 100% sure why. Perhaps it’s because I’m saying farewell to some things God has told me to release. Perhaps it’s because I’m embarking on some new, scary journeys God has led me to embrace. Both are very uncomfortable for me. And I don’t deal with change very well. If you don’t believe me all you have to do is ask my husband. He will tell you… a change in plans, however slight can really throw me for a loop. I’m stepping out in faith right now. I’m doing my best to follow Him with obedience. I don’t really “like” it, but He is changing my heart slowly but surely with every step I take toward Him.

I stopped at the super-store to get some milk just a little while ago. As I made my way through the store I walked passed the pajama department. My eyes fell upon a rack I just had to go take a closer look at: adult size footy pajamas. Oh man, I was excited!!! I looked through them and thought about how ridiculous I would look in a pair of these bad-boys… but I also thought about how comfortable they would be. I remembered that a friend of mine had bought a pair last year, and a matching pair for her daughter. I looked at the price… $24.99. I thought it was a bit much for such a silly thing I didn’t really need. Instead of buying them, I picked up my cell phone and called my friend to tell her I had thought of her and her footy pajamas. It made her laugh. Oh how it was good to hear her laugh. I think she was having a rough morning… and we just spoke briefly but profoundly… something about not knowing the answers to the questions we don’t yet know. And… how we put too much pressure on ourselves to know answers to questions we don’t yet know. We both completely understood in that moment, although I’m not sure what the heck we were actually talking about now. We said goodbye and promised to talk again soon.

As I grabbed my milk and headed to the checkout counter I realized the reason I had considered getting the footy pajamas was really simple. I was longing to feel like a child again. I was longing to feel warm, cozy, and curled up safely on my couch. I was longing for the weight of adulthood, responsibility and decisions to be lifted from my shoulders even if only for awhile. I stopped in my tracks and thought about getting those footy pajamas again. $24.99 wasn’t such a bad deal if I could re-claim my comfy-cozy infancy for a moment or two, right?

Then I heard a whisper in my head and realized, I didn’t need to buy a pair of footy pajamas to feel like a cozy, comfy, protected child. All I had to do is ask God if I could nestle in with Him for a little while. I felt Him wrap His loving arms around me and there I stood, the child I longed to be. I felt warm and comforted. The weight of not knowing the answers to questions I didn't yet know lifted in an instant. To further my comfort, God told me I will never be a grown up in His eyes. And He is the type of Father that will always make time for me no matter when or where, no matter what He is doing. Always. Period.

Right now, the house is very quiet… I can actually hear the ticking of the clock in the hallway. It’s nice. I need to go pick my son up from pre-school in 5 minutes. After that, the quietness will be gone but giggles and endless questions will fill the void. As mommy, it is my job to make sure my son feels comfy, cozy and protected. In addition, it is my hope that when he is all grown up, he will recall his mommy teaching him that God can bring him back to his “footy pajama” days... anytime... every time he needs a break.

Windows and Doors

I live in a great house! It is perfect for us as a family and it was exactly what we wanted when we shopped around a few years ago. It was built in the early 80’s and is in a neighborhood that didn’t plow down all the trees when they decided to build. In fact, our back deck was built around several trees which are not only beautiful and interesting, they also provide shade so we can actually enjoy our deck in the summer without frying. Yes, I love our house.

I read something last week that made me ask myself a question… would I like my house as much as I do now if the windows and doors were blown out? It didn’t take long for me to come up with my answer… hmmmm… probably not.

Without windows and doors my house would be a free-for-all for the elements. Imagine how the heat and humidity of a Texas summer would mess up my daily comfort level. And what about the rain, the carpet would get soaked, the walls would get dampened and before long mold would be everywhere. Dust and pollen would quickly coat all my belongings no matter how often I cleaned. I’d probably just give up trying to keep everything clean. The wind could just blow in freely whenever it felt like it. Whether it be a warm gentle breeze or a frigid bluster, it would be impossible to keep things in place, right where I wanted them. And what about the animals? My husband would have a coronary if he found a squirrel trespassing to chew on the cord to his 56 inch HD television. Little 4 year old Brett wouldn’t like sharing his toys with the neighborhood dogs who would no doubt come in and chew up anything with a squeaker in it. And what if a skunk came to visit? I mean it’s bad enough when one gets run over by a car 5 miles away, imagine if one lifted its tail for a spray in my bedroom? Oh my… no I probably wouldn’t like my house much at all. In fact, I’d probably be trying to sell it as quickly as possible but I don’t know who in the world would be willing to buy such a house.

When my house was built, it was done with great care. The people who put it together did it themselves and it is obvious they had a dream in mind as they pieced it together. They left the blueprints behind and all the extra materials needed to for fix-me-ups. It seems they thought of everything as they constructed this place, from the way the landscape drains rain water perfectly around the house to the perfect placement of each and every light switch. Yes, this house was someone’s dream home. It was built with purpose, great attention to detail and no doubt, perfection was in mind… for who would build their dream house thinking… ah, second best is good enough. This is no doubt why they put strong doors and double pane windows in place. Imagine how quickly this monument of wood, stone, fiber, metal and wiring would become a big pile of decayed crap if there were no windows or doors... this house wouldn’t still be standing here some 20 years after its purposeful, careful, loving creation.

Proverbs 25: 28 says, “A person without self control is like a house without windows or doors.”

I have to ask myself, am I like a house without windows or doors? Do I let the heat of decisions badly made make me uncomfortable? Do I let the downpours of life get me wet and moldy? Do I allow the dusty residue of other peoples actions collect on me to the point that I stop trying to stay pollen free? Do I allow the winds of uncertainly and evil just blow in and out of my life at their own whim? Do I let critters gnaw at my once perfect wiring? Do I allow the neighborhood dogs to steal my joy from me? And how badly do I stink when I let the skunky bomb of anger or hatred lift their tail in my heart? Am I a house that no one would want to purchase?

The honest truth is… most times, I am just like a house with no doors or windows.

But there is good news.

Just as my house was built to perfection, so was I. God created me with purpose, great attention to detail and certainly in His own image which was nothing short of perfection. While I know there is no possible way I can maintain anything like perfection in my life, I have been given the blueprints to try. The blueprint is the Bible and with the Word open in my hands, I allow it to move through my eyes and settle into my soul. The blueprint magically restores my windows and doors. Personally, I believe self-control is an oxy-moron. I believe the only real control I can ever have is God guided self control. Without Him, the elements will surely destroy me. True, I have no self control, but luckily God is more than willing to be the strong impenetrable wood that makes up my doors and the shatterproof, triple pane windows that I so need to make sure the perfectly constructed house of Wendy He built doesn’t ever become a decayed pile of crap.