Sandpaper

Sandpaper (sand•pa•per) noun - paper covered on one side with abrasive material (such as sand) glued fast and used for smoothing and polishing

Have you ever read a book that rubbed you like sandpaper? Maybe you thought, “This author is a pompous, opinionated, self-righteous jerk”? I am reading a parenting book with my husband right now and I think the author… well… he is a piece of work. His forward alone was like sandpaper being rubbed all over me. And not the smooth sandpaper… I’m talking the rough stuff, the course grit #30 stuff. It’s not necessarily what he is saying in the book, although it certainly is at times, it is his delivery. His confidence that he is right about everything is astounding. He speaks of the past generations as though he has intimate knowledge of a vast majority of people who lived in that time (even though he had not been born yet). Specifically, he ‘knows’ all about their parenting skills. Including intimate knowledge of how they felt about God, what they believed to be true about God, who they relied on for answers, and how their children behaved. He speaks in wide, broad brush strokes and applies it to everyone. It is truly a difficult read for me for there is one thing I know for certain… nothing thought up by a human is certain. (On second thought, perhaps I’m not so certain of that.)

Here’s the interesting part, I actually agree with the majority of what the author is attempting to say. And I think, personally, that what he is saying could have a wonderful impact on the way today’s Christian masses parent their children but unfortunately, his message gets lost in his pompous, opinionated, self-righteous jerkiness. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that a majority of people who buy this book put it down and send it to ‘Half Priced Books’ before they even get to Chapter 2. It’s unfortunate.

(I pause to wonder if this same thing happens in my own writing… do I come across as a pompous, opinionated, self-righteous jerk in my writing? Do my sometimes good messages get lost in my delivery? I know it does for some people. Hmmm… food for thought.)

On the flip side, I am also reading another book by an author I absolutely love! It’s about Christianity and how we have messed things up through the years. As I said I really like this author but… right off the bat in chapter one he made a statement I completely disagree with. It turns out his entire book is based on a statement I vehemently do not agree with, so, this one is also a difficult read for me.

An author I seriously dislike with a message I agree with. I have to work hard to focus on what he is trying to teach me because of my dislike of his approach and style.

And, an author I love, with a message I fundamentally disagree with. I have to work hard not to get sucked into his belief, just because I like him.

Who knew reading could be so much danged work.

Are you ready for the most interesting and coincidental part of this scenario? In both cases, the author I dislike with the ‘thing’ I agree with and the author I love with the ‘thing’ I totally reject… well, they are both talking about the same ‘thing.’ Crazy… that the planets would align themselves in a way in which I would be reading two completely different books on two completely different subjects written in two completely different decades and have this fundamental belief be the center of both… at the same exact time. God-incident? Of course. Nothing is ever an accident when it comes to stuff like this.

What is this ‘thing’ I speak of? Here it is in a nutshell: Human nature. Good vs. Bad. Moral vs. Evil. Sinner vs. Saint.

The author of one book believes people are generally good by nature and that we all live by some invisible moral code that keeps us intrinsically knowing right from wrong. This unseen system of good is what gives us a sense of fairness and is also what guides us to make good decisions. This author seems to think we all have a ‘do unto others’ attitude deep within our soul.

The other author believes that nothing good lives within us. We are bad from the start and because of that we must learn to make good decisions the hard way, by taking full responsibility for our own actions, sin nature and our shortcomings. It’s a tough road, not made or meant to be easy.

If you know me well… especially if you are a Celebrate Recovery leader with me, you know which of these statements I think is a bunch of hooey and which one I stand firmly on and say “right on brotha!”

So which is it? More important than what I believe… what do YOU believe? The Bible only backs up one of these statements… while society totally backs the other. I believe society has completely blinded us to the truth (yet again) and in the heart of this basic belief rests the undoing of how God desires us to live in this period of time. It’s happened many times in the past… a period of great belief in God is followed by a period of abandonment of Him. One thing is for sure, God stands tall through it all. He is the victor regardless of who believes and who doesn’t.

If you are reading this and think you know the answer to which statement is “the one”… email me… I’ll tell you if you got it right (please excuse the opinionated, self-righteous jerk in me who thinks I know the answer).

As for me, I’m going to keep reading both of these books. They have a lot to teach me, the smallest of which is how to absorb truth from a source I don’t like and how to reject falsehood from a source I adore. In addition, I have a feeling some sandpaper on my parenting skills isn’t such a bad thing… after all, I could use some smoothing and polishing in that area of my life. Have a blessed day everyone!

Windows and Doors

I live in a great house! It is perfect for us as a family and it was exactly what we wanted when we shopped around a few years ago. It was built in the early 80’s and is in a neighborhood that didn’t plow down all the trees when they decided to build. In fact, our back deck was built around several trees which are not only beautiful and interesting, they also provide shade so we can actually enjoy our deck in the summer without frying. Yes, I love our house.

I read something last week that made me ask myself a question… would I like my house as much as I do now if the windows and doors were blown out? It didn’t take long for me to come up with my answer… hmmmm… probably not.

Without windows and doors my house would be a free-for-all for the elements. Imagine how the heat and humidity of a Texas summer would mess up my daily comfort level. And what about the rain, the carpet would get soaked, the walls would get dampened and before long mold would be everywhere. Dust and pollen would quickly coat all my belongings no matter how often I cleaned. I’d probably just give up trying to keep everything clean. The wind could just blow in freely whenever it felt like it. Whether it be a warm gentle breeze or a frigid bluster, it would be impossible to keep things in place, right where I wanted them. And what about the animals? My husband would have a coronary if he found a squirrel trespassing to chew on the cord to his 56 inch HD television. Little 4 year old Brett wouldn’t like sharing his toys with the neighborhood dogs who would no doubt come in and chew up anything with a squeaker in it. And what if a skunk came to visit? I mean it’s bad enough when one gets run over by a car 5 miles away, imagine if one lifted its tail for a spray in my bedroom? Oh my… no I probably wouldn’t like my house much at all. In fact, I’d probably be trying to sell it as quickly as possible but I don’t know who in the world would be willing to buy such a house.

When my house was built, it was done with great care. The people who put it together did it themselves and it is obvious they had a dream in mind as they pieced it together. They left the blueprints behind and all the extra materials needed to for fix-me-ups. It seems they thought of everything as they constructed this place, from the way the landscape drains rain water perfectly around the house to the perfect placement of each and every light switch. Yes, this house was someone’s dream home. It was built with purpose, great attention to detail and no doubt, perfection was in mind… for who would build their dream house thinking… ah, second best is good enough. This is no doubt why they put strong doors and double pane windows in place. Imagine how quickly this monument of wood, stone, fiber, metal and wiring would become a big pile of decayed crap if there were no windows or doors... this house wouldn’t still be standing here some 20 years after its purposeful, careful, loving creation.

Proverbs 25: 28 says, “A person without self control is like a house without windows or doors.”

I have to ask myself, am I like a house without windows or doors? Do I let the heat of decisions badly made make me uncomfortable? Do I let the downpours of life get me wet and moldy? Do I allow the dusty residue of other peoples actions collect on me to the point that I stop trying to stay pollen free? Do I allow the winds of uncertainly and evil just blow in and out of my life at their own whim? Do I let critters gnaw at my once perfect wiring? Do I allow the neighborhood dogs to steal my joy from me? And how badly do I stink when I let the skunky bomb of anger or hatred lift their tail in my heart? Am I a house that no one would want to purchase?

The honest truth is… most times, I am just like a house with no doors or windows.

But there is good news.

Just as my house was built to perfection, so was I. God created me with purpose, great attention to detail and certainly in His own image which was nothing short of perfection. While I know there is no possible way I can maintain anything like perfection in my life, I have been given the blueprints to try. The blueprint is the Bible and with the Word open in my hands, I allow it to move through my eyes and settle into my soul. The blueprint magically restores my windows and doors. Personally, I believe self-control is an oxy-moron. I believe the only real control I can ever have is God guided self control. Without Him, the elements will surely destroy me. True, I have no self control, but luckily God is more than willing to be the strong impenetrable wood that makes up my doors and the shatterproof, triple pane windows that I so need to make sure the perfectly constructed house of Wendy He built doesn’t ever become a decayed pile of crap.