Sandpaper

Sandpaper (sand•pa•per) noun - paper covered on one side with abrasive material (such as sand) glued fast and used for smoothing and polishing

Have you ever read a book that rubbed you like sandpaper? Maybe you thought, “This author is a pompous, opinionated, self-righteous jerk”? I am reading a parenting book with my husband right now and I think the author… well… he is a piece of work. His forward alone was like sandpaper being rubbed all over me. And not the smooth sandpaper… I’m talking the rough stuff, the course grit #30 stuff. It’s not necessarily what he is saying in the book, although it certainly is at times, it is his delivery. His confidence that he is right about everything is astounding. He speaks of the past generations as though he has intimate knowledge of a vast majority of people who lived in that time (even though he had not been born yet). Specifically, he ‘knows’ all about their parenting skills. Including intimate knowledge of how they felt about God, what they believed to be true about God, who they relied on for answers, and how their children behaved. He speaks in wide, broad brush strokes and applies it to everyone. It is truly a difficult read for me for there is one thing I know for certain… nothing thought up by a human is certain. (On second thought, perhaps I’m not so certain of that.)

Here’s the interesting part, I actually agree with the majority of what the author is attempting to say. And I think, personally, that what he is saying could have a wonderful impact on the way today’s Christian masses parent their children but unfortunately, his message gets lost in his pompous, opinionated, self-righteous jerkiness. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that a majority of people who buy this book put it down and send it to ‘Half Priced Books’ before they even get to Chapter 2. It’s unfortunate.

(I pause to wonder if this same thing happens in my own writing… do I come across as a pompous, opinionated, self-righteous jerk in my writing? Do my sometimes good messages get lost in my delivery? I know it does for some people. Hmmm… food for thought.)

On the flip side, I am also reading another book by an author I absolutely love! It’s about Christianity and how we have messed things up through the years. As I said I really like this author but… right off the bat in chapter one he made a statement I completely disagree with. It turns out his entire book is based on a statement I vehemently do not agree with, so, this one is also a difficult read for me.

An author I seriously dislike with a message I agree with. I have to work hard to focus on what he is trying to teach me because of my dislike of his approach and style.

And, an author I love, with a message I fundamentally disagree with. I have to work hard not to get sucked into his belief, just because I like him.

Who knew reading could be so much danged work.

Are you ready for the most interesting and coincidental part of this scenario? In both cases, the author I dislike with the ‘thing’ I agree with and the author I love with the ‘thing’ I totally reject… well, they are both talking about the same ‘thing.’ Crazy… that the planets would align themselves in a way in which I would be reading two completely different books on two completely different subjects written in two completely different decades and have this fundamental belief be the center of both… at the same exact time. God-incident? Of course. Nothing is ever an accident when it comes to stuff like this.

What is this ‘thing’ I speak of? Here it is in a nutshell: Human nature. Good vs. Bad. Moral vs. Evil. Sinner vs. Saint.

The author of one book believes people are generally good by nature and that we all live by some invisible moral code that keeps us intrinsically knowing right from wrong. This unseen system of good is what gives us a sense of fairness and is also what guides us to make good decisions. This author seems to think we all have a ‘do unto others’ attitude deep within our soul.

The other author believes that nothing good lives within us. We are bad from the start and because of that we must learn to make good decisions the hard way, by taking full responsibility for our own actions, sin nature and our shortcomings. It’s a tough road, not made or meant to be easy.

If you know me well… especially if you are a Celebrate Recovery leader with me, you know which of these statements I think is a bunch of hooey and which one I stand firmly on and say “right on brotha!”

So which is it? More important than what I believe… what do YOU believe? The Bible only backs up one of these statements… while society totally backs the other. I believe society has completely blinded us to the truth (yet again) and in the heart of this basic belief rests the undoing of how God desires us to live in this period of time. It’s happened many times in the past… a period of great belief in God is followed by a period of abandonment of Him. One thing is for sure, God stands tall through it all. He is the victor regardless of who believes and who doesn’t.

If you are reading this and think you know the answer to which statement is “the one”… email me… I’ll tell you if you got it right (please excuse the opinionated, self-righteous jerk in me who thinks I know the answer).

As for me, I’m going to keep reading both of these books. They have a lot to teach me, the smallest of which is how to absorb truth from a source I don’t like and how to reject falsehood from a source I adore. In addition, I have a feeling some sandpaper on my parenting skills isn’t such a bad thing… after all, I could use some smoothing and polishing in that area of my life. Have a blessed day everyone!

Responsibility (An Addendum to a T-shirt)

Okay, so in my last article, I talked about the idea of being afraid to “stick out” in a crowd, the fear of being different in society. I asked the question, if I am so able and willing to show the world who my favorite sports team is, why should I be afraid of showing the world that I am a big fan of Jesus? I related the scariness of being in a foreign country to blending in… and then to how we Christians tend to want to blend in to society rather than show the difference He has made in our lives. I talked about my decision to be more diligent in “wearing” my beliefs emotionally and physically… enter my collection of Christian T-shirts…

I have one with a picture of a skunk that says “Sin Stinks… I didn’t do it!” I have one that says “Holy Roller” on a roller skate. I have one that says “Jesus is my BFF” and then there is the black one that has a picture of a stick figure in a fire on the front and on the back says, “Friends don’t let friends go to Hell.”

Yes, I wear them proudly but I felt moved to share a little story with you… a story of a slight blunder I made.

It had been a long day of parenting, one of those days where I was counting the minutes until Brett’s bedtime… he had been challenging, I had been challenging… we just hadn’t had a good day (I’m sure none of you parents out there have any idea what I’m talking about). Well, the bedtime ritual had begun and for some reason my hubby wasn’t home so it was all up to me that night. We had finished brushing teeth after 10 minutes of whining “I don’t like this toothpaste.” We had gone pee-pee after 10 minutes of “but I don’t have to go pee-pee” and we were in the middle of putting PJ’s on after a 15 minute battle about “but I don’t want to wear THOSE pajamas.”

Just as I was helping Brett slide on his blue pajama top (which was the honorable mention choice of sleepwear) the doorbell rang. The dog began barking and all hell broke lose. After a short but apparently not long enough pause, I slowly walked over to the door and opened it.

With Brett at my leg and the dog trapped in the bathroom barking, my eyes fell upon a man I had never seen before. He smiled and said, “Good evening ma’am… My name is John and I’m out here today to see if can help you with your siding needs. We have a great sale going on and I’m ready to offer you a great deal.”

Annoyed… okay… really annoyed I interrupted him and spoke in a tone of voice that would have made satan himself run for cover. I said “I’m not sure if you noticed, but my house is brick… I don’t need any siding. Besides, I am trying to put my son to bed after a really long day.” I looked at my watch and continued, “do you think you could find a better time to walk around bothering people?” He starred at me blankly then began to tell me to have a nice night but I didn’t even let him finish… I turned and slammed the door.

I know, I know… I was a total bitch! To be honest, I felt really bad about the way I had treated him. Almost immediately I realized I hadn’t stopped to think at all before I spoke. My mouth had just gone off on autopilot. I wanted to run down the street to apologize but I was too embarrassed. Worst of all, my son witnessed my horrible behavior. After telling him how wrong it was for me to treat the man that way, I went back to the business of putting Brett to bed and before too long, the house was quiet.

I went into the bathroom to wash my face and stopped to look at myself. I thought, “Well, aren’t you proud of yourself Wendy?” and that’s when I realized something more awful than all of it… I had on my pretty pink t-shirt that says “Love Thy Neighbor” in GIANT letters. Argh… a final stab of forced humility. I imagined the damage I may have done to God’s kingdom with that 5 seconds of unfiltered words. Sure, he was just one man but let’s say he was on the fence between committing to a life with Christ or heading the opposite direction… my actions, coupled with the t-shirt could have very easily made him turn away saying, “and that’s why I can’t stand Christians!” He was merely trying to make some wages… he was doing his job… and quite kindly I must say.

Dear mister siding sales guy – I am really sorry for being so horrible to you… and no… Christians aren’t supposed to act that way… but we aren’t perfect either, which I suppose is the point of our Christianity. We need forgiveness for our thoughtlessness and cruelty. You didn’t deserve the way I acted and I pray that wherever you are, God will put the right person in front of you to show you the way Jesus means us to live. I humbly ask for your forgiveness.

The moral of the story here is that my Christian t-shirts should have come with an official, legal contract which clearly states that the wearer of said t-shirt promises to conduct themselves in the proper manner while wearing and since the store didn’t provide me with such a document, it is really not my fault. Just kidding… the moral of the story is that all Christians make mistakes…but when I choose to step out into society, claiming Jesus as the Way, the Truth and the Light… I do have a responsibility to do my best to wear Him in a way that actually shows the world His light. There’s already enough darkness out there.