Thou Shalt Not Comb

My husband, Ryan, and I have really been developing spiritually in the last few years. One of the things in life that seems to go directly against that growth is television. But, I suppose if we keep it in perspective, stand firm on the things we believe then we’ll be alright. I don’t think God wants us to live in a Christ shaped bubble, blocking out the relevance (or irrelevance) of the world. In fact, as one of God’s “fishers of men” I think it is important to know what’s happening in today’s world. I’ve learned in time that nearly anything can be related to the walk of Jesus. With that in mind, we sat down Monday night to watch some television and see what the new fall season had to offer.

One of our favorite shows had two completely separate story lines going. The first one we thought was extremely witty, entertaining and true. It was about how we as people should be confident enough with who we are that we don’t need to change what we say and do just to make others happy. I whole heartedly agree with this… but I wish it were as easy as it sounds. In my old, drunken life I truly had no idea who I was. I changed my personality completely based on who I was around and what situation was before me. I was a personality chameleon… and I told a lot of big lies. It was hard to keep up with, but it was worth it in my warped little mind because I thought that was why people liked me. As it turns out, I don’t think too many people actually did like me, because… I didn’t stand for anything, no one could figure me out and, oh yeah… I was a liar. I am still a died-in-the-wool people pleaser, and even though I’m sober I struggle with this every day. I don’t ever want to feel like anyone is mad at me. Sometimes my fear of disappointing others causes me to be dishonest about simple things. Think about it, if someone asked Jesus to go to a two hour network marketing presentation He had no interest in, I don’t imagine He’d be so insecure that He would need to come up with 3 or 4 excuses just to feel okay about saying no. I can hear it… “Well, my donkey is lame so I don’t have a ride. And one of the straps on my sandal broke so I really should get that fixed before I walk too far or I might get a blister. Plus Martha is making me a big dinner...” nope… I don’t think so. I imagine His answer would be, “No thank you.” Why is that so hard for me???? The word “No,” then a period. I’m working on that.

The second story line was totally disturbing to me. The one funny part was that a few years ago, I wouldn’t have found it disturbing at all. I would have actually found it comforting… everyone else is doing it… so it’s okay. The premise was that when you are in the committed relationship of marriage that it is totally okay to fantasize about other people. I was very pleased to see my husband shaking his head in total disagreement with this… in fact he said “Thou Shall Not Covet!” as he watched it. We both chuckled! My laugh and gladness at his statement had nothing to do with jealousy and everything to do with God’s wish for our lives. I adamantly believe my spouse is a true gift from God. I am supposed to cherish him and honor him. I am supposed to be committed and stand by him no matter what. My entire relationship with my husband is an act of worship to God… and if I let another man enter that worship space in any way, I am totally disrespecting the gift. I am essentially spitting on the gift! Now, I’m not gonna lie and say I don’t ever see men who intrigue me or catch my eye. I’m not even gonna lie and say I understood this whole concept the first 5 years of my marriage… because I didn’t!!!! I spit on my gift many times before I began to understand. And to this day, I still have eyes to see, ears to hear and interests that are occasionally sparked by others… but it’s what I do with those sights, sounds and interests that matter. I can choose to comb over them slowly in my head (combing leads to teasing and everyone know that too much teasing leads to a big, knotted mess. Even the best brush can’t get those tangles out without a lot of pain and hair-loss)… or I can choose to reject them and refocus on the awesome gift God has given me. If I have a hard time rejecting them, I pray hard, I go to the Word and pick a verse to help me. I repeat it over and over and sometimes I even ask my trusted prayer partners to pray for me to be released from temptation. God is faithful and if I look to Him to help me reject sin, He most certainly will.

Another thing about God is that He has extremely high standards. So high that if I allow another man to enter my thoughts in a lustful manner, I may as well just go ahead and go all the way with him physically. Now, I’m not saying if I’ve thought about it and it’s like doing it, I may as well just go ahead and do it. What I’m saying is… it is of upmost importance to not allow myself to go there at all, even in my mind.

In closing, I’d like to say that thankfully, God allows U-turns…. Phew! I recently joked with some friends that some days I feel like I’m just walking in circles, taking one U-turn after another. I LOVE that Ryan and I have grown to the point spiritually that we are not as confused by what we see on television. I’ll tell you this though, I do plan on keeping my eyes open. I’m sure there are plenty of things I don’t know to watch out for yet and the devil (along with society) would like nothing better than for me to be unaware of their impact. Today I’m so glad I was able to take that misleading story line that Satan was trying to use to desensitize society into not following God’s heart and turn it around in this writing and tell all of you who read this (all two of you) to stand firm on your commitment and don’t let anyone invade your worship space… it’s for you, your spouse and God…. period.

Press Play

Recently my husband and I just had our very first television censorship battle as parents. I guess we are fortunate that it has taken this long but since we don’t have cable, I suppose our 4 year old isn’t exposed to too many choices. He basically just watches KERA which is packed full of good television. When I say good television, I mean every show has some sort of value for Brett’s little brain. He is either learning about letters or words from WordWorld, being exposed to scientific concepts by Sid the Science Kid, widening his vocabulary with Martha the Talking Dog, or just plain learning about everyday things like animals, stars, wind, fear, or food with Curious George. He really doesn’t watch a lot of television but it’s nice that when he does watch (or when we do need to plop him down in front of the idiot box for a time) it at least has some value.

The battle we had this week was over the show Sponge Bob Square Pants. Brett has been a fan of the character for over a year now even though he had never watched the show. He has shoes, figurines and some shirts. He watched his first episode on Wednesday and loved it! I have to be honest; I didn’t really pay attention until he came into the room and said, “I’m gonna kick your butt! I’m gonna knock your brain out!” I asked him where he heard that and he said “SpongeBob.” So I decided to take an interest in this show… and I watched a few episodes with him. Quickly I decided this show had zero value for my little guy’s mind. I told him I didn’t think he should watch it anymore and he got very upset.

After talking to several moms, I discovered that Sponge Bob is banned at nearly every single one of my friend’s houses. I felt like I had made a good choice… and the decision was finalized without debate. No more Sponge Bob for us!!!!

This morning, Brett wanted to watch it but I said no. He cried saying that he really liked the show so he still wanted to watch it. I told him it wasn’t good for him. He told me he didn’t care, he said he liked it and begged for me to let him see it again. I explained to him that mommy and daddy have to make the same types of decision for ourselves about television. I explained that just because we like something… doesn’t mean it is good for us.

A little over two years ago, my husband and I took an inventory of the television shows we were watching. We had just finished up an intense study of the Bible and to be honest, many of the things we were allowing to pass through our brains were in direct conflict with what we had learned from our study of God’s Word. There were several shows we decided we needed to delete from our viewing. Let me be clear here, we weren’t giving them up because we didn’t like them anymore or because they didn’t make us laugh anymore… we gave them up because they weren’t good for our brain or our spiritual connection. Here are a few of the shows we “let go”… Two & A Half Men, Desperate Housewives and The New Adventures of Old Christine. Personally, I also gave up Greys Anatomy. I’m not judging anyone who watches these shows… I’m just telling you what we decided.


It is so easy to fall right back into the trap of mindless, brainless and backwards brain feeding because let’s face it… it’s funny! Each season, a whole new list of shows comes out and…. here we are sitting on our butts wasting our time letting backwards, brainless stuff pass right through us. I don’t want to continue to be a person who is numb to sexual promiscuity, foul language, blatant disrespect of others, marital infidelity, dishonesty… and the list goes on. I want the numbness to go away so the Spirit can work with my conscience on a different level so I won’t willingly or inadvertently participate in those things. When I look at it, most of my shows go against everything I am working toward in my relationship with Christ. Why would I open my mind to it just to get a good laugh???? Even if I don’t think it is affecting me…. it is.

If I am going to hold my son’s television to such a high standard, should I not hold my own watching to the same standard? I ask myself, why am I so concerned about what goes into his mind? Because he is young and he has his whole life ahead of him, right? I want him to be a good person, love the Lord, have a happy life, respect others and use his brain for good.

I may be 36… but I am young and I have my whole life ahead of me… my eternal life. What I allow in my brain (good and bad), what I allow to affect me and change me (good or bad), what I allow myself to do or not do (good and bad) is what will determine what kind of eternal life I will have… if that isn’t of utmost importance, I don’t know what is!

I have this sin nature that I fight everyday… every second of everyday and it is a struggle I know will never end. There’s a show we DVR called “The Blessed Life.” It’s a 30 minute program done by Gateway Church where lead pastor Robert Morris shares some of his messages. I absolutely love Pastor Morris! He makes the Word make so much sense, he makes it relevant to today and he makes me feel like I can improve. (To see full episodes of The Blessed Life or get more info about Gateway or Robert Morris go to www.theblessedlife.com) Here’s what’s interesting, when I sit down in front of the television to relax after a long day and the list of DVR’d shows comes up, I have a choice. I can choose to spend 30 minutes watching Robert Morris tell me something I know will not only be interesting, but it will improve my spirit and my walk with God… or I can watch the primetime comedy Rules of Engagement that will reinforce society’s view that it’s okay to use women for sex (Russell), it’s okay to manipulate your spouse (Audrey & Jeff), and it’s okay to live together and have premarital sex (Adam & Jenn). When faced with this choice… my natural instinct (my sin nature) always chooses Rules of Engagement. In fact, my brain actually says to me, “Ewe… I don’t want to watch Robert Morris.” If my husband picks “The Blessed Life” I will sort of do an internal eye roll… and watch it begrudgingly… even though I always end up getting into it, loving it and feeling like a better person when it is over. I never feel like a better person at the end of Rules of Engagement.

Brett is lucky he has a mommy and daddy who force him to do what’s good for him, even though he doesn’t appreciate it now. Sometimes I wish I had a physical life boss to tell me what’s best for me since my discipline kind of stinks. I’ve been doing better lately since I have been really trying to give all control to God. I pray for Him to guide me in all I do and to help me be more disciplined. I guess He is my life boss, but since He isn’t physical, it’s much easier to ignore His requests and guidance. My sin nature always picks the wrong thing but when I allow God to guide my choices, He will always help me push the play button for “The Blessed Life.”